Go the F**k to School

Overheard between 10:22 and 10:29 this morning in my home: 

"Can I have a snack?"

"Where are we going today?"

"He's touching me.  He's touching me.  HE'S TOUCHING ME."

"Mom, listen to this noise I invented."

"What's for dinner?"

"How did Earth get invented?"

"Can I have a snack?"

"Is it my turn on the computer?"

"Is it my turn to be player 1?"

"Can I have a snack?"

"Is it lunchtime yet?"

"Can I have that thing my brother loves?"

"Mom, look."

"Mom, watch this!"

"Mom, LOOOOOOOOK!  MOOOOOMMMMM!"

"Mom?  WHERE ARE YOU?"

"What are you doing in there?"

"Can I have a snack?"

"Where is that teeny-tiny Lego piece that goes to nothing and I haven't used for a year, but NEED RIGHT NOW?"

"What's for dinner?"

"Can I play outside?"

"Can I come in now?"

"Can I have a snack?"

"Is it my turn to use whatever my brother just starting using?"

"What are you doing?"

"What's for dinner?"

"Is it maybe pizza?"

"How come?"

"When can we get pizza?"

"Why do I need a shower?  I just took one the other day."

"Mom, the toilet won't flush."

"Can I have a snack?"

"When does school start?"


Not soon enough, child.  Not. Soon. Enough.